Hello, you fantastic genius you!!!
Last week had been pretty damn good to me. I can’t even lie!! Don’t get me wrong, it had it’s moments but the fact I survived it must mean something, right?!? Every time that happens, I remind myself of it. That way, when I feel I’m drowning, I can look back and know I have made it through everything I thought was going to destroy me. So I can make it through this, too.
Just some inspiration for you guys as we get into this post!!!
So this is actually late. I was supposed to write and post this way back in October of last year. But life has been moving a mile a minute while also slow as a glacier. In other words, I completely forgot…yep shame on me. I still want to make it, though.
This post is about someone who is extremely important to me. It’s in dedication to me and my papi’s 1 year anniversary.
Me and him met on Bumble. Which is an app I hadn’t used very much in the past. However, with transitioning to Virginia, I was determined to not spend every waking moment by myself. I started looking for friends and going out on fun little dates.
After about a week or 2 of living here, I matched with papi. The very night we met, I was actually on the phone with another guy who just so happened to be getting on a boat for the next 6 months. Since he was busy with the transition, I was awake and started a conversation with papi very early in the morning!!! I was tipsy, and he was fun. To this day, i wonder what past Faye said to get a guy as special as him. But we will never know.
He was so hyped up by our random conversation that he changed our plans. Instead of meeting that weekend, he was going to come to the house that moment to meet me. I was extremely excited and surprised for so many reasons. For a while, I thought he was joking. When I realized he wasn’t, I got some form of ready and waited in anticipation.
During those times, whenever a guy came over, I had them meet a family member and take a picture. It was a personal safety issue. Lots of things happen to women, and I wanted to make sure there was a sense of accountability from the guys I was with. That way, they knew they could be found.
He met my sister in law and both my brothers!!! My younger brother was nerdy high and talked about anime. My sister in law was goofy, and my older brother was calmly swag. Everyone in my family gets along with people very well!!! But I admired how well papi took to the randomness of the situation. I thought it might be uncomfortable for him but I couldn’t tell. It made me like him even more. Being put into that situation and adapting was very impressive.
That same night we ate cook out, fucked, and talked. (You might think that’s crude. But I think it’s so dumb watching grown ass people try and find “cute” words for sex. Like come on we all do it let’s stop being weird about it) I’d been a few dates before I met him but this was different for me. It’s one of those moments where you felt like you’d known the other person for years even though you just met.
Like you’re twin flames destined to meet. You fit together in such a satisfying way, like when you finally find the puzzle pieces that go together after trying every other one.
It’s actually really funny because after our first night together, I told him I was going on a few more dates next week. Honestly, I didn’t have a reason behind it. I assumed our relationship was going to be casual, so I wasn’t worried about sharing. Plus, I think having that transparency with sexual partners is important. After a few minutes, he casually told me I should cancel. Which I ended up doing.
We fell in love incredibly fast. After only about 2 weeks we were saying “I like you very much”. Which was kind of our code way of saying I love you. It’s ironic because I was the one who said it first!! Some stuff I talked about in regards to the patriarchy. It gave me the courage to push through vulnerability and say what was really on my heart, and he said it back to me!!! It was one of the happiest days of my life. I knew I was going to be with him for a very long time.
Our first date was to the movies. We saw Smile. It is a casually horror film, which is unscary if any beginners want to take a shot at getting into horror flicks. On our next date, we went to this private little beach he knew about, and we walked, talked, listened to the water. It was like a movie.
We went to walking trails with my dog, and of course, we spent time at each other’s residencies.
I was constantly asking when we would start dating officially. Since he didn’t want me dating any other guys, I felt like he needed to lock me down lol (btw we did start dating before saying we loved each other, lol)
We spent a lovely afternoon in this really nice park. We joked at one birthday party, being way better than the other one. Relaxed and vibed to music. Talked about nice things. He asked me to be his girlfriend there. He wanted to wait until we went to Busch garden the following week, but….I was very impatient, lol
As soon as I said yes, he started questioning me about this guy I was “in love with” on Twitter. He wanted me to stop seeing whoever this mysterious man was because we were together now. I laughed so hard. Then I explained to him that Jensen Ackles played Dean in Suprrnatural, my favorite show!!!!!! I love how adorably jealous he was and how sheepish he looked when he put it all together!!! A moment I will never let him forget!!! It’s just too adorable.
October 9, 2022, we officially became a couple!!!!!
After that we went to hollow scream!!! Omg the rollercoasters at Busch Gardens are fantastic!!! I hadn’t been on one in soooo long and finally being able to do that with someone I care so deeply for made it even better!!!
The following month, we went to DC!!! You can read all about that in my post from last year!!!!
By Christmas time, we found our way to my family home in Alabama and his in Florida!!! The trip to Florida was amazing!!!!!! I could make a whole post about just that. But, I can’t forget that the time I got to spend with my family was so beautiful n life affirming. After only a few months, our families knew all about us!!! Crazy right!?!? I didn’t think so, but I’m just weird, lol
Then Disney World for my birthday (those posts are coming up very soon in honor of my birthday being this week)
And I could go on and on about the incredible food, shows, drinks, laughs, drives, we have had since we found each other. It’s been such a wonderful ride. Our version of a honeymoon period, lol
That doesn’t mean everything has been sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Trust me on that one!!!
Coming from such different backgrounds and being raised in different ways. It can be difficult to find ways to mesh our lives together. Although we have a lot in common, we are not the same at all. We have different triggers, the way we process, how we wish to be loved, how we show love, financial expectations, goals for the future, where we want to live, if we want kids, etc..
Alll these things affect our lives. Finding a balance between everything is the only way we can become one. Not losing our individuality. Rather learning how we can coexist with one another.
Communication has been a huge struggle. As I’m sure most, well everyone, struggles with. In every step of our lives, assumptions take over reality. Misunderstandings lead to not speaking. Before you know it, the person you thought was a friend, lover, and your boss is a stranger u want to destroy. Safe to say communication is very important but very fragile. It is so easy for things to get lost in translation the moment it leaves your mouth. And me and my papi are not above that. It has been a real challenge trying to figure out our flow. One thing I’ve started practicing is radical honesty. Not in an attempt to hurt the other person. To speak truthfully about where we are at with each other and how we can get from here to something better. That doesn’t mean it’s the golden ticket. Sometimes, we still hurt one another, and we still argue. But the root of it is to make things better, and we find a way to get back to that even if it takes some time.
Also, we have gotten into the habit of not needing to finish every conversation the same night. Whoever said, “Don’t go to bed angry.” Was forsure an insomniac because no way they were making that happen and waking up for work the next morning!! It’s good to take a break. I’m very aware that I get emotionally drained. My partner doesn’t as much. I have to make him aware when I’m at my snapping point and he has to accept it. Which allows cooler heads to prevail. We are working to fix the problem not to be right.
It doesn’t work every time, but practice makes perfect!!! Our love languages are very different as well. He loves physical touch, whereas I love acts of service. For a hot minute that was not meshing well at all!!!! It was the cause of many disagreements. Honestly, it’s something we’re still working on, but being aware of the difference gives way to understanding. When you have empathy for your partners position and stepping out of ego, you don’t take it personally. It’s easier to not feel hurt. You know, even if it does bother you, that you’re partner is not trying to harm you. It just takes time.
Trust is everything. Without it, moving forward is hard. You don’t know if you can depend on the person next to you. And that is something you need to know at all times. If no one else in the world is behind me, I need to know, without the shadow of a doubt, my baby got me. It’s something that must be built upon over time. Truly trusting your partner opens the door that allows unending freedom in a relationship. We’re getting there step by step.
On top of personal struggles with mental health. Breaking toxic habits picked up from people. The last 7 months he has been traveling so we haven’t been with each other that entire time!!!! It’s been a really difficult journey. But I truly believe it’s going to make us strong as fuck.
It might just be my experiences, but I have found life likes to throw me under every single bus it can find. The great thing about it is that I become stronger every single time. I think the universe took us through these trials because it needs us to be strong. It needs to speed up our process because there are changes that are coming, and we are going to need to be ready for them.
This is why, through all the tough shit a lot of good is flowing from it as well. It’s like getting cut. It hurts. So you clean it, which also hurts. It probably itches, and you have to resist. Then it scabs up. Finally, new skin grows. That’s exactly how it feels working through issues with my partner. It’s a process. Healing can be just as painful and as annoying as getting cut. But in the end it’s fine.
I found that we are truly dedicated to loving each other. Even though it feels like we’re starting back at the beginning. I suppose this is why people redo their vows and things of that nature. Your original goal can get lost in the sauce. And there is no time limit on that. (Me and Tito have been dating a year and 7 months. When you are with someone, there is no time frame for where you should be. Don’t let anyone tell you. You are better off or worse. Move at the proper pace that works for your relationship.)
Our communication skills have SKYROCKETED!!!! I used to think we talked about everything, but now I see there is no ground floor to this. In the most odd times, I find that I trust him with my very soul. Sure, it might come because I got so angry I didn’t bother holding back. But it’s also because I want nothing more than to be with him. That means being vulnerable and willing to take exactly what I dish out. (It’s difficult for me. I won’t lie, lol)
It’s hyper focused me back onto the goals we are trying to accomplish after these trials are over. Like becoming millionaires. Traveling all over the world with my crazy little dog. Following our mutual passion for film and being creative. Building his investment portfolio. Getting certificates. Going to school. Starting the careers we actually want. Owning a home. No longer worrying about surviving because we’re thriving!!!!
During difficult times, you often forget why you fell in love in the first place all the connections you made in the small day to day tasks. The adventures we have had are so important. The amount of traveling we have done in the short time we have been together is kind of crazy. But we wanted to do those things. Sharing experiences together makes us beyond happy. The joy in those moments returns to me the minute I look through any of our pictures. I almost cry with overwhelming emotions.
The nights we spent watching Breaking Bad and Supernatural. Watching him tip toe into the giant ocean that is anime. The times he had 2 separate chairs in the living room of his apartment, and we would hold hands or play kingdom hearts!!! (Something I’m oddly good at tho tbh)
The fun drinking parties with the pre-made cocktails from the grocery store or the Bicardi and coke, one of his favorites. Hours we would spend driving while we’re traveling or I’m doing doordash. We talked about so much that I can’t even recall all of it. It brought us closer and closer together.
Moments I never want to forget. I sometimes feel like I take advantage of my own happiness. The emotions fade away, and the moment becomes a memory you don’t think about anymore. It’s like it didn’t even happen. I don’t want to forget anymore. I want to hold them in my heart, so no matter what.
In our relationship, I have learned so much from my partner.
He gives me the courage to be honest. At level at which I have never been before. Without fear of the response. Ready to stand by what I said. Trusting the way I think and feel. Having confidence in what I believe. Believing in who I am. He has taught me to have faith. That I can fight for what I want. I have the patience to see things through, and I’m too hard on myself. I’ve let outside forces influence me too much. I am capable I’ve speaking up for myself. Setting necessary boundaries. Not being manipulated.
Not only do I deserve to be taken care of, but I don’t have to break my back to earn it. We take care of each other, so spoiling one another makes sense. He makes me want to be better. Every single day, I want to work harder and harder to be the healthiest me I can be, and it’s thanks to him. Not simply because u want to be the best partner to him. I also want to be better for me. I deserve to love myself whole.
He is the best thing to ever happen to me. I like to call him my sweet asshole lol. Cocky n weird. Thoughtful and smart. Rude and sassy. Dramatic and kind. Goofy and motivated. Sexy and creative. He is a gorgeous masterpiece. Every day, I see a new thing I never noticed, and I fall for him even harder.
The way he plays with bagel like a child with no worries. He keeps me from losing my entire mind. He calms me down when my Aries wants to go to war. He supports me in the many ways I have failed him and myself. His super weird dance moves when we’re riding in the car. Or the moments he taps into his past and really gets down. (Super sexy to see, btw)
We filmed a few projects together, and the last photoshoot I did, he took all of the pictures for me. He has such an eye for details behind a camera screen. He’s a creative at heart. The moment I think I have him figured out, he shows me another part of himself. Every part I see is beautiful.
He really does take care of me. His capacity for giving is outstanding. And did I mention he’s like….gorgeous. I mean, look at this man!!!!! So fucking sexy like come on. If we ever wanted to have babies they would be drop dead beautiful!!! But I’d rather continue be the hottest couple in the room. Having him on my arm is nothing less then an upgrade!!!! So fine.
My partner has the most beautiful soul I have ever seen. He exudes love and passion. I am beyond lucky to have him, and I hope to be with him until the day I die. If not, then I only wish he would always be happy because he deserves it!!!
Papi. I love you so damn much. I’m beyond excited that you are back home with me and Bagel!!! We have the potential to have the brightest future!! It is all up to us. And as long as you’re in this, I know I’m in it, too.
I love you very much, my everything!!!
Thank you guys for reading my very sappy post, lol. I promise next week will only be about half as adorable!! Jk.
Hope you all tell someone special in your life how much you love them today!!!
3 words for this experience…
Love. Partnership. Excitement.
Faye's No Tomorrow 